Blissexology: 10 things most people don’t know about Sexual Energy

1. Full rest is essential to aligned sexual energy.

“Stopping, calming and resting are preconditions for healing,” (Thich Nhat Hanh)

It’s also often more essential than anything else when wanting to feel more sexual energy connected to libido!

This is especially true for women, although it holds true for both genders. Often a really good relaxing massage and great sleep are more likely to pick up her libido than anything directly seen as erotic.

Long-lasting libido and conscious sexual energy arise when all seven types of rest are present in your day-to-day living. The seven types of rest are: Physical, mental, sensory, creative, emotional, social and spiritual,

Most people only rest with one or two rest boxes ‘ticked’ and so never really reap the benefits of consciously applying rest as a healing modality with the side effects of more life force energy (sexual energy).

2. Anxiety is a libido killer.

Anxiety will often wreck even the best sensual reconnection intentions.

Learning how to be less anxious, more in the moment and regulating your nervous system heightens sensuality and sensory play.

Reducing hypervigilance and anxiety are often better techniques for turn-on than buying new lingerie or sexual toys. Often, when dealing with reduced libido, we become MORE anxious about anything with a sexual connotation, so learning how to regulate your nervous system for better sensuality has more direct impact on improving your sexual energy.

3. Slowing down can INCREASE sexual energy

When you’re close to orgasm or a peak sensual experience, slowing down instead of speeding up can actually improve your energy and pleasure.

Slowing your breathing or your rate of touch or stroking, can create more sensuality and sensory play.

The ecstatic plateau, or extended/expanded orgasmic states, only becomes available to the body in slower, more mindful states.

Staying in the parasympathetic nervous system during states of heightened sexual energy helps make that energy available as life force energy.

Some pleasure opens up larger sensory potential in the body when you either slow down or keep doing EXACTLY what you’re doing.

4. The energy increases when you touch differently.

Instead of thinking that sensual touch should only be sensual or erogenous zones, touching differently increases the body’s curiosity and ability to receive sensation.

Many of us tend to go ‘straight for the goal’ when we feel sexual energy and often this actually bores the body and switches the energy down.

Taoist sexuality, yin massage and some tantra teach erogenous points on the ankles, the back of the knees, the insides of the hip bones and working on the sacrum (the triangular bone on the base of the spine) as energy ‘bowls’ that actually indirectly stimulate sensual and sexual meridians.

5. Sexual energy pleasure is INDIVIDUAL

Pleasure and sensuality (sense you wellness) have to come from genuinely pleasurable things for the individual, not what the media has taught as being sensual.

What works for one person may irritate and turn off another.

Spending sensual time with yourself (not masturbation, actually heightening sensate focus with no genital or breast touching) teaches you as an individual, the nature of your own personal life force energy.

If you don’t know what really gives you sensate focus and pleasure in your body, how do you expect someone else to figure it out?

Body and pleasure mapping is a practice that can improve your self-esteem and self-awareness as well as increase your sexual energy.

6. Vulnerability is deeply linked to sexual energy

Real sensual communication involves being able to be vulnerable.

This kind of communication holds space for life experiences, hormonal changes and meeting real human needs.

Vulnerable communication that changes old energy patterns releases pathways for life force energy to flow with consciousness.

Learning new communication patterns to feel really heard, seen and understood is deeply linked to truthful sexual energy.

7. Ride the storm, rock the boat and renew the energy

Every seven years or so your body completely renews itself and we are able to upgrade ourselves as humans learning and experiencing more in this life.

You are probably not going to be exactly the same person seven years into a relationship with yourself or another.

Learning to be able to hold space for conflict and disagreement without going into total meltdown within all of your relationships is going to help you upgrade.

When the love is there, the relation ‘ship’ can weather the storms.

Learning to bend instead of break, being curious about your partner’s change(s) helps you renew the energy with the anchor of your relationship.

8 . Sexual energy flows in presence.

Mindfulness and presence are not just psychological buzzwords. When used within your sexual energy, they keep us linked to ourselves and others in truly loving ways.

It’s a continual love curiosity within another’s energetic space that keeps the connection strong.

Being truly present often means having the energy to concentrate, to focus. If you are not fully rested, presence can feel like work instead of deep loving curiosity so, again, rest is essential for this energy to flow.

Being present also helps us be aware of what sexual energy does in our bodies, how it ebbs and flows and what else it affects in our day-to-day lives.

9. Sexual energy doesn’t like psychological ‘noise’

Psychological ‘noise’ creates huge stress in relationships and distracts from life force energy flow.

A  good clean-out of what causes psychological noise/mental distress can really help.

Find out where your own psychological noise is and clean it up to improve your ability to flow that life force! Don’t force the energy into a cluttered psychologically noisy environment.

This may mean preparing the space for sensuality, or scheduling it for when you’ve created some time away from heavy mental processing tasks.

10. Sexual energy is not just the energy of sex.

Sexuality and sensuality are not the same thing.

However, sexual energy or life force energy dances in both of them.

When you truly understand this energy in a deeply viable way it helps you use this energy as life force energy.

Life force runs through everything we do.

Owning and channelling your authentic sexual energy means having more life force in everything you experience in this human existence.