Blissexology: Phoenix Rising

The creative energy of a woman’s midlife awakening

Midlife for women is most often advertised and sold within our society as being the end of desirability, sexuality and youth.

It catches most of us by surprise, especially through the exhaustion and burnout of motherhood or for those of us who enter it overnight through major surgery.

Even for those of us that shift into this process slowly, it doesn’t have much societal preparation for us as women, other than jokes and prescriptions!

This is the third hormonal fire for the furnace of shift and change in your life as an oestrogen-based being. This is the third major shift and, just like the others, menses and motherhood, is surrounded by myth and often shame within its messy reality.

Menses still has the dubious honour of often starting our journey into being ‘sexual consumables’ as women, where our pleasure, sensuality and wild and magic sexual energy are often only seen as valuable to elicit desire, to sell products, as sexual currency. Our sexuality is very rarely used for ourselves and often shamed if used or shared for one’s own pleasure.

Motherhood, the second shift, is still very much not about us. Most of our energy will be channelled into childcare, whilst still being sexual partners and meeting needs within our relationships. We are sold ideas and themes about motherhood, not its messy reality. Themes around perfect bodies that instantly know how to breastfeed, return to their previous shapes whilst still being sexual fantasies to our partners…

Mothering – with media and other unsolicited advice thrown into the child rearing-pot…

Mothering – which everyone else appears to be doing better and with less guilt than you…

And finally…

The menopause!

Perimenopause often begins just after a woman’s sexual peak starts, at around 35. The body naturally begins to shift from reproduction into pleasure possibilities that provide chemicals we need for balanced and healthy lives.

In our society, this begins the journey to being sold products that glorify being 20-something for the rest of our lives, the treadmill of pursuing youth instead of becoming your full powerful self.

I don’t know about you, but intimacy in my 20s and even early 30s was pretty awful. Lots of faking, thinking my body was broken and trying to figure out my own pleasure from a testosterone vision, was deeply frustrating and disempowering.

In fact, I’m more confident now sexually and sensually at 52 than I was in my 20s and my husband and I have much better pleasure and intimacy too.

But I digress.

The power of becoming invisible to those who only valued you as sexual consumable is immeasurable. You can almost instantly find out where to invest your time and energy, as those that find you invisible are actually the takers in our society, the users. 

As I recently saw in a meme: “Only respecting women you’re attracted to isn’t respecting women.”

That invisibility cloak is a SUPERPOWER. It’s one that will clearly guide you on people’s ACTIONS – how to include them or not in your life.

And you can still be attractive and sensual and have pleasure being your actual age; it can also help you dodge bullets in the dating world too.

Because the people who still pay attention are actually worthwhile people. They are your tribe, your support, your guides.

The other gift that doesn’t feel like it in the beginning? The initial libido dip. This means you can start to learn about this midlife awakening that can start to channel your life force energy to YOU. (Which ironically reawakens your sexual energy too!)

The ‘cosmic womb’, that can begin to birth the projects and creative ideas into your one wild precious life.

This new life force energy, this midlife awakening of knowing time and energy are more valuable to this incarnation than ever before.

There may be less time in front of this existence than there is behind you and the midlife awakening can be the time you start to use this to create the life YOU want:

Finding the work and calling that are powerful and magical for YOU;

Finding your tribe and support system that benefit your vision for your life;

Far beyond being the consumable energy that everyone else requires or has needed from you, becoming more of your own sensual self to serve your life design.

None of us knows how much time and energy we will have left.

So, this is the time to find yourself fully, in full presence and power for every precious day you are gifted moving forward.

This is the power and creation of the cosmic womb.

This is the phoenix rising.

What will you create in your midlife awakening?