Breaking the Code, Conscious Parenting
Carl Jung said: “You are born on a day and you take on the energy of the day.”
As a code coach, I help parents unravel the potential of their children through an understanding of the unique numbers that make up their day of birth.
On the day we are born, the exact placement of the numbers on the day imprints a code which determines the personality of the person. It highlights their strengths and potential blind spots. There are a number of different systems that use numbers and obviously all of these methods yield results. The code is different from astrology or Meyers Briggs or the enneagram. It is called the code (adapted from the original human pin code). It is about understanding the unique makeup of your child or yourself.
Real love is irreplaceable in parenting, but having a deeper insight into your child’s personality through their birth code gives you an edge. Knowing your child’s preferences, tendencies and inclinations helps you, as a parent, to adjust your approach, making parenting more assured and effective.
Only with real knowledge can we go forward in life. It is the deeper layer that I try to reveal and I read it from the unique code that the birth date unfolds.
From having examined hundreds of codes and from my own experience, I am able to uncover the true character or flavour of the person behind the code. When you observe a child you always notice certain behavioural traits that seem specific to the child. If you know the code of the child you will be far more likely to observe particular traits with certainty and then, as a parent, you can adjust your attitude to your parenting, as it is determined by your knowledge. A child who is naturally caring and loving, could also be very insecure. Or the child could love learning and always be keen to learn something new and yet be subject to overwhelm and confusion. How do you handle this? I look at the code and highlight the complementary strengths that you can focus on. I try to highlight practical insights and tools to help you, as a parent, to support the child’s strengths and to turn their potential blind spots or challenges to the good.
In the case of the child who is naturally gifted with the ability to organise, you can encourage them to develop this skill. Yet you need to understand that the flip side to this natural ability is an intensity and rigidity that can be just too much. By recognising the instinctive strength that this gift presents, one can help the child to adjust their behaviour to strengthen the positive aspects of the quality and turn down the intensity. This will support the child’s natural organisational abilities. With the parent’s understanding and clarity the gift is amplified and a balance is established. With the gift of patience, its flip side may be a lack of confidence. In the case of quick thinking, its flip side may manifest as nervousness.
If you understand the deeper landscape of your child you are alerted to the possibilities that are inherent in the child as the code reveals it. In particular, one can see from the code how a person will respond under stress. Some will immediately retreat and become frozen with silence from the shock and then become confused and illogical. Others will face it head on and become verbal and immediately come up with a plan. Others will be stubborn and immovable in their approach. One gets surprised by the reactions of a child under stress. A
naturally sensitive child may deal with stress with a cool head while an extroverted child could appear in an opposite guise. There are so many approaches to stress. The code reveals these details and, as a parent, you can understand the child’s reactions far more easily and support them with more wisdom.
You are probably wondering what the code can reveal about those born on the same day and, in particular, twins. The answer is that from the code I can see which aspect each child is bringing to the fore as a result of the relationship – the synergy – they share with each other. Twins are like any relationship. They are unique individuals, but the special bond they share with each other determines what aspect will be stronger in their individual personalities. As in any relationship, we mask certain traits. Bear in mind that it is in relationships that
we grow. Twins are the same. The relationship they have is their greatest test and opportunity. Then, as a parent, you are helped to unmask the relationship they have and to focus on the positives/strengths that each twin brings. I alert you to these aspects and introduce you to a different dynamic in your parenting approach.
I always focus on supporting the positive skill of the child. In a situation where children are more outgoing and vocal in their communication, they may struggle with criticism. At the same time they may be very caring and loving. If you concentrate on reprimanding them constantly you lose touch with their gentle side and you may find yourself with a problem you could have avoided had you focused on the caring nature of this child. Yet the more vocal, forceful character of the child could have hidden his sensitivity and often his vulnerability.
Sensitivity in children is so often misunderstood, as is hyperactivity. Learning to understand the various aspects and gifts that the child presents enables one to get a clear and concise overview of the child. The code will always show me what the child is about. I can see if the child tends to be imaginative or analytical, logical or curious, practical or illogical, patient or nervous. Then one learns to balance the various aspects.
In the case of the child who constantly needs to complete tasks as opposed to one who rushes from task to task, you need to adjust your approach as a parent to the child and, once you have a sense of certainty as to their instinctive pattern, you can deal more effectively with the behaviour that the child presents. It’s all in the code and, as a parent, you can really learn to know your child and deeply connect to their aspirations, which may be deeply hidden. If you know what they are about, you can help yourself and them to adjust their reactions and so strengthen their true selves and connect to their deep purpose in life.
Every child brings their own gifts to their lives and we try as parents to help them recognise their path and to learn to focus on their innate strengths. If you really know your child you can help them to develop their natural skills more easily and overcome their personal obstacles far more quickly. You want your child to find a career and life path that resonates with their strengths and enables them to shine their light in the world. This is what conscious parenting is about: Really parenting with knowledge and not with a hit and miss approach. It makes your life easier and gives you more assurance as a parent. If you know the code of the child, you will know the child.
Contact me for an in-depth code discussion, either in a written format or face to face or online.
Join me and crack your code!
Jean Struthers – jean@codecoach.co.za
