Rediscovering Resilience:
Resilience is often likened to the capacity to bounce back, but what happens when that bounce starts to fail? Picture a bouncing ball, sticky, rebounding as it should, yet with each bounce, it collects bits of the stories it encounters. Gradually, this sum of the story weighs it down, reducing its bounce to a ‘crawl’ from one spot to the next.
Many might relate to feeling like this weighed-down ball, not unique in today’s high-stress world, where burn-out looms large and for some, suicide seems a desperate escape from the clinging pain of life’s burdens. This ‘resilience ball’, laden with stories of fear and shame, blocks connection and magnifies our dread of judgment, propelling us into isolation – a profound world of shame and suffering. Yet, inherently, we are designed for deep connection as humans to learn, grow and experience love and belonging.
As someone who has wrestled with suicide and champions mental wellness, I’ve learned that to engage my bounce, I must let go of the self-deprecating stories that eat away at my worth and connection to self. I am more than my thoughts and feelings; I am a human whose survival instincts have sometimes forced me to make decisions that could be seen as shameful. Unlike Neo from ’The Matrix’, who elegantly sidesteps challenges, I’ve felt more like ‘Humpty Dumpty’, repeatedly falling and breaking apart, stuck in a loop of shame.
Yet, there is a way to channel Neo’s agility – a path paved through deep mental, emotional, and spiritual work, a journey toward surrender and flow. This journey isn’t about persisting in a state of fragility but rising through A.R.I.S.E (adaptability, resourcefulness, inner strength, stress management and emotional regulation).
In writing this, I share my lived experiences. We’ve been taught to hide our ‘shameful’ stories, to treat them like dirty secrets. Yet, such hidden secret only fosters separation and judgment. Alternatively, embracing our true selves can reconnect us with communities that remind us we belong.
The key to resilience lies inside. Before attempting to fix our world, we must learn to love and accept ourselves and our stories. Years ago, inspired by Brené Brown, I wanted to rewrite my story. However, finding a safe space to address and peel away the layers of shame was terrifying. Shame is excruciating, like a burn, yet confronting it is the only path to freedom.
Consider your own story. Have you been shamed, hidden away, or exploded in anger like a pufferfish? Do you long for peace and a new story? If so, there’s hope. We can work on ourselves.
Eighteen months ago, my team and I launched an app-based resilience programme supported by a research study, particularly focusing on healthcare workers post-Covid-19. We aimed not just to understand but to provide measurable solutions to enhance resilience. The results have been profoundly positive, with significant improvements in participants’ ability to engage with resilience practices.
Choosing to work on yourself is the first step toward a fulfilling and purposeful life. Are you ready to A.R.I.S.E and to unlock your mind and heart and truly free yourself? Are you prepared to embark on this journey?
