Do you aim to BE YOU each day?
Many people around the world wake up each day with one aim in mind, to be ourselves. Dressing the way we want, wearing our hair the way we want and stepping out into the world, hoping our inner-self will miraculously align with the outside world.
As much as we try not to, we find ourselves wondering what others will think of us, thus beginning an internal struggle of thoughts, feelings and emotions. These thoughts and emotions take over while we try as hard as possible to maintain being true to ourselves.
Yet, no matter how hard we try to stop believing these thoughts genuinely belong to us, they seem to take precedence. Soon, we are comparing ourselves to others, acting, talking and occasionally even dressing a certain way to be part of someone else’s world.
As children, some of us are warned about not being too different, not standing out. Being conditioned to put our head down, work hard and be normal and like everyone else. However, your upbringing was, choices during adulthood also contribute to what we choose over the years to change about us, taking us further away from being ourselves.
I was wondering about where I first noticed I had made a choice to stop being me. My memory shifted back to my first year in primary school. We had been handed a worksheet to complete in class, with the instruction that when you are done, sit up straight and tall so the teacher could see you were done.
I remember being finished first, putting down my pencil, sitting up straight, proud and tall. I even tilted my head up a little, so happy to be done. Then, the teacher’s eyes shifted across the room and, when she saw me, she started laughing to herself. At that moment, I decided she was laughing at me, that something about what I was doing and being was wrong and I should never ever do and be that again.
Fast forward to years later, looking at this now, she was not laughing at me. Instead, she enjoyed me and the way I was present with the instruction and my unique way of executing it.
There are so many more examples of moments like this in my life, too many to write down here. Including moments in high school, during my first job, first relationship, first divorce, and many other reminders of moments when I chose not to be me.
Comparing your choices, lifestyle and appearance, based on other people and their way of seeing and being in the world, is not truly living.
It’s choosing to be you and what works for you that is truly living! When you’re you, there is a sense of ease and peace with whatever is going on.
You no longer need people, places and things outside of you to make your life enjoyable. You have a greater sense of what you are choosing, of what creates your life as beautiful. You begin to recognise choosing to be you is where you become the creator of your future.
Being you gives you a space of vulnerability and openness that shows you how truly wonderful you really are. So, how do you get to have and be more of yourself? Here are three steps to assist you along the way:
1. Find out what makes you lighter
~ Whenever you feel light and spacious and less stressed, you are being you.
~ When you feel heavy and contracted, you are not being you.
~ The secret here is to do more of what makes you happy, light and spacious. If you get stuck trying
to figure out what makes you happy, look at what makes you lighter instead. Then, when you notice
that sense of lightness in your body, notice the ease and flow around you too.
~ You will begin to see that what makes you lighter may not be what you thought it would be and
may not bring lightness to those around you either. What makes you light may just be for you!
2. Follow the lightness
~ Once you have a sense of what makes you lighter, choose more of that lightness every day.
~ Do more of it!
~ Begin by writing down a list of what makes you lighter, the things in your day, people, choices
and places that inspire and lighten you up.
~ Always choose to do whatever lightens you up, what awakens you and makes you come alive.
3. Continually add more of this to your life
~ Being you does not occur overnight. It’s a continuous adventure where there are always different
paths to walk and more to discover.
~ Nothing is fixed on your adventure to being you, adding enjoyment, discovery and infinite
possibilities to your life.
~ This adventure to being you has no path to follow, no map, it’s undefined, unplanned and exciting.
I look at what is light for me with every choice I make. These steps are a significant contribution to my life, business and relationships. Whenever that sense of lightness is not present, I ask more questions before making a final choice. I’ve come to see that when I choose what is light, that is what gets to show up in the future too!
My question to you is – How do you know when you’re truly being you?