How can we better process discomfort to lead a better life?
The key to excellent health and wellbeing on all levels – physical, emotional, spiritual and mental – has a direct relation to how you interact with the complexities of your life. If you don’t properly release pain as it occurs, it will resurface as inflated emotional toxicity some time down the road and will compound throughout your life. Insomnia, anger, fear, anxiety, resentment, hostility, jealousy are just some of the behaviours that make it very difficult to enjoy life. It’s not easy to deal with pain head on, but the consequence of ignoring this is worse.
Memories are stored in your brain and they can be recalled at any time. You can recall events with great detail, faces and names, textures and smells. Over time many memories fade away, yet your body keeps a physical memory of all your life experiences. The body doesn’t forget!
We are all walking around with physical imprints of our painful past which are stored in our bodies. You may feel anxious about riding a bike if it has been many years, yet once you are on the bike, riding, it feels just like yesterday. Why? It is because of the memory that is stored in your body. Imagine you’re in a situation where there is heated confrontation, without you knowing your body may get tense. Again, this is because of memories from your past. The sensation within your body remembers your past and how it didn’t go well before. You can forget or attempt to block your memories stored in your brain, but to remove your memories from your cellular memory you must learn how to process pain properly.
If you don’t know how to process pain how can you deal with anger or fear? You will resort to one of two ways. One way is blaming the outside world and the people around it, which in turn stunts your growth, limits learning and ultimately prevents you from maturing. In other words, it is very challenging to make your life better, because other people are the problem. You will say things like, “it’s all their fault, they don’t understand.” The second way is to self-sabotage. You will prove to yourself that it was your fault again and from your past you will torture yourself with feelings of guilt, belittling yourself, turning to comfort eating, drugs or sex, which can also lead to sadness and depression and other physical illnesses. There is a light at the end of the tunnel here and these five steps make the process of accepting and processing pain much easier.
Recall the memory that is causing you pain
Find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed or be self-conscious. It is best if your space is clean and not obstructed. Close your eyes and recall some past circumstance that was emotionally upsetting.
Rekindle and release the emotion
Visualise mentally in detail what was happening around you. See this situation in third person, so it is not happening to you currently; rather see it as a motion picture vantage point. Feel the emotions exactly as they feel, without telling a story in your mind about the emotion. Just feel the feeling. Keep it simple, witness that emotion and simply feel the feeling. Penetrate the pain by allowing the emotions of the pain to express through you. As you do this, feel the pain dissipate and become less heavy.
Recognise your body posture
Be sure you are in a straight spine position and leaning back a little bit. Your chin is parallel to the ground and your face is soft. Shoulders are relaxed and your breath is full and deep in the belly. Inhale in the nose and exhale through the mouth. Release and let go of the painful sensation leaving your body as it expresses through your body and breath. You may find it helpful to use your voice, audible tones while shaking or moving your body.
Reignite your inner light
As your body and emotions become lighter, imagine a big, beautiful, white light all around and encompassing you. With every inhale, breathe in the white light, allowing it to penetrate your entire body. As you exhale, visualise your white light spreading out to all those around you, blessing everyone and everything around you.
Recommit to a better future
Now that you are open and ready to move forward in life differently, make a concrete plan to ensure your success. Meditate twice daily, build a strong morning and evening routine, aim your goals to be higher and more attainable and reflect to see if your environment supports your new forward momentum.