Words PW du Plessis

Attraction and abandonment, the continuum of rebirthing

While the cat, Samantha is purring behind me, I am fearlessly writing notes, music plays and the paragraphs from my pen flow…

As I move too far back from the edge of my office chair, she is gone. With this article I am just guiding us through some thoughts of how the fear of abandonment, based on the fear of attraction, is a part of all our lives, how we try to deal with and overcome it. How we rebirth or reinvent our mindset and actions towards these fears and let-downs. How do we overcome?

The flower in the field goes through an ice-cold winter, yet it still blooms in spring, rebirthing itself each yearly cycle. The flower is not fearful, as it knows the cold. It accepts it and grows even bigger and more beautiful the next season.

Just as Madonna or Cher reinvent themselves every few years, so do we, wanting more recognition, more success in a future job, fearing yet attracting it on a scale…

So we ,as humans, overcome and rebirth ourselves, we have to stare our fear of abandonment or rejection in the face, or falter under the pressure… We have to accept that this ‘new relationship’ might also have snowy months. Some cycles are fast, some take their time…

We all go through many cycles, more or less trials in life; we try and learn from them. If we do not, we stay stagnant in the fear of another let-down. If we do,  we grow from it. We become more confident. If we do not learn from it, we live in such fear that we do not even see it coming and it hurts us yet again. Or we do not speak up against someone that did us wrong. Living in the fear of yet another loved one leaving, living in the same fear of a past experience, is probably the worst thing you can do. In the end, we all need to face and overcome yet another or the same fear only more dominant than previously.

In a few minutes Samantha is back in her spot of comfort… She is okay.

This cycle of fear can be short or long, repeating or happening just once in our lives. Our memories serve us well as we try to think and be positive, we try and just remember the good times in life, but, regrettably, the ‘bad’ of the past creeps in, as we all fear what we attract. When we do not fear a certain situation and have overcome it, we rebirth ourselves into a better mindset of how to cope with that specific fear of how abandonment wants to make us be attracted to someone new, or a new or better job with better circumstances. We push out an energy of hope, which lets us think less of fear; we change our fear into hope. We say or we are told: “Everything will be okay.”

In this pendulum of attraction and abandonment, pushing and pulling, we overcome our fears, or we at least try to. We start becoming more mindful in the way we talk, in the way we attract good and positive to ourselves and our fears. We explain things to others in words they better understand and our fears seem to disappear or be less scary.

In my experience, after going through many ups and way more downs, it feels as though I’ve reinvented myself many times, adjusted my view, but also stuck to my guns in the last 10 years or so. After losing most things in my life in the last three years (and I am sure many of my readers have too), I recollected in my mind that now I’ve gained more – and more people that still matter to me – from losing it; I’ve overcome the fear of being cut off or losing, because from it all I have grown, my relationships have grown. I survived. I rebirthed myself and I can now share this to all suffering in the fire of fear.

We all evolve into newer, better versions of ourselves as time goes by.

“We fall. We stand up. We grow. We survive and we overcome our fears, rebirthing ourselves – and it will be as it should be“ PW

PW is a champion of the downtrodden, a media boss and design dynamo; his personal Odyssey from breakdown to recovery is a beacon of light and inspiration to others. Ed